people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
