Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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