Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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