so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
