i think my tv is drunk
My liver just broke up with me...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
