I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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