Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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