can u get pink eye on your cock?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
