This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
