Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
