This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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