Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
