so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
