I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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