She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
