Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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