Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
