i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
