my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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