So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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