We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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