The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
