why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
