he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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