i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
