i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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