Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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