Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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