U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
