Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize