Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
