I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
