Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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