Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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