hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
