How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
