Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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