he shaved USA in his pubs
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
