Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
