it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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