just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
