Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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