Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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