apparently the secret to your success is patron
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
