But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
