He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
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Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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