So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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