How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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