its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pants are for mortals
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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