My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
