seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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