I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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