You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
