he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
