Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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