it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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