There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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