hotel room ftw
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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