drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
