This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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