You work out of a Hotel?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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