You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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