Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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