The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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