what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
